The difference is very simple. They are not killing us to stop us from killing them. They are killing us because they hate us and want to destroy us. We, by contrast, are killing them in order to prevent them from killing us.
It's a huge difference.
If the Arabs lay down their arms, the conflict ends. If Israel lays down its arms, Israel ends.
It's that complicated, and it's that simple. The numbers aren't the issue. The only issue is that they have to leave us alone. If they persist in trying to kill us, they will suffer and die. All they need to do is stop it.